How to get rid of codependency in alcoholism
Listen to the speech of people who have a family has a relative with alcohol dependence. If I hear the phrase "we did everything to not to drink", "we had been through so much," "us, nothing works" is the first signal that a non-drinking family members of an alcoholic suffer psychological codependency that is dangerous in their own way. What is its harm, how it is expressed, is there a way to get rid of and how useful video is worth a look, as we now discuss.
How does the state
Codependency – a condition in which a person excessively enjoys and adapts to the problem, which has affected a relative, losing all sense of one's own individuality, is in a constant state of stress. Person with codependency is:
- Used too frequently in the speech of the pronouns "we", "our", "us" ‒ especially where it is more logical to use "I", "he", "her".
- Increased anxiety, even when there is little reason to worry. The constant expectation that the person will fail.
- Hypercontrol (checks bags, pockets, asks, watches).
- The desire to make decisions for another person because of mistrust ("you don't go, because you get drunk", "you have to give the salary").
- Fear of judgment – trying to hide a shameful secret of alcoholism in the family. In the course can go the bribery of doctors to get fake sick (at work, found out that absenteeism was due to binge), bribes the policeman caught drunk behind the wheel, inventing excuses for drunken behavior ("I fell because felt dizzy", "nauseous due to poisoning salad").
- Zealous testing of all tools that can save you from alcoholism. Moreover, the funds can be absurd kind of miracle powders, amulets, charms.
- Personal interaction with patients with alcoholism rapid manifestation of emotions ‒ shouting, accusing of lying, teaches, blackmail, pointedly pours the alcohol in danger. Often it comes to family fights. If it's trying to do someone else, codependent, alcoholism zealously took the side of his "drunks" (for example, first pointedly calls the police, and then he also does not get drunk in the plot).
- The manifestation of sacrifice. In conversations codependent is constantly feeling sorry for themselves says how many have to endure. But if you give him advice like "we need to get rid of the problem — pack up and run, moving into a stage of denial: "If I don't care, then who? You may experience an increased fear of loneliness. Dependent for all his faults always there in need of help, it is possible to take care of and to take care of it.
These manifestations of codependency is quite logical – they appeared like a defensive reactionbased on the desire to help close to get rid of alcoholism. But when describes the behavior becomes permanent, it ceases to be a caring and began to hurt. That is what makes life unbearable codependent, and alcoholic patients pushes to an even greater manifestation of addiction.
The dangerous condition
It is important to understand codependency in alcoholism is not helping get rid of the habit, but, on the contrary, contributes to the progression of alcoholism. That's why this happens:
- Alcoholics convenient for him to solve difficulties at work (e.g., to cover absences), are justified in front of friends. Soon, even once drunk a glass of vodka becomes the fault not of the alcoholic and the loved one – "why did you let me drink?". The alcoholic ceases to have control, shifting this mission on the shoulders close.
- Too aggressive and imposing behavior (continuous control, interrogations, yelling, blackmail, reproaches and tears) allows the alcoholic to justify their behavior: "Everything is against me, just have to find calm in a bottle." Moreover, alcoholics sometimes provoke close to "conscience" then to drink.
- If a person is to constantly criticize (especially remembering careers, health, appearance, difficulties with children, he's losing self-esteem is intrinsic motivation to fight the addiction.
- Even such a trifle as the use of momentum "in vain, we tried everything" instead of "he was trying to throw" allows the alcoholic to get away from the problem. When one realizes their own guilt, the chance to find the inner strength to struggle with alcoholism much more. If he feels that it is "all around", the feeling: nothing terrible happens.
Above we have listed the reasons why co-dependency of relatives is dangerous for the alcoholic. But codependency is extremely devastating for its owner:
- reduced self-esteem (it seems like the patient is drinking from loved ones; a shame for a dependent relative);
- appears a state of despair ("I can't help alcoholics");
- distorted perception of reality (which appears suspiciousness);
- is fencing off from society, the stress recedes for a moment.
Prolonged exposure to negative emotions and stress leads to the development of psychosomatic diseases:
- spasms of the blood vessels;
- spasms of the muscles;
- sleep disorders;
- disruption of the functioning of internal organs.
These signs begin to appear first as a small ailment, and then develop into severe diseases:
- arterial hypertension;
- bronchial asthma;
- psoriasis and other.
Codependency can lead to serious mental disorders. Therefore, timely psychological treatment of people with symptoms of codependency necessarily – only by qualified specialist will help to completely get rid of damaging condition and prevent complications.
Difficulties of treatment
Alcoholism is difficult to treat. From codependency is also extremely difficult to get rid of. The reason for this one: neither alcoholics nor people with codependency don't feel sick or guilty. Drinkers perceive alcohol as a harmless habit. People with codependency condone the behavior of love, care, desire to help.
The most difficult, but perhaps the most important step is to recognize the addiction. Once a person is aware of the harmful behavior, prevent to get rid of alcoholism in a relative and harming himself, half the work done. Further requires the intervention of a psychologist who:
- will hold individual sessions of conversations.
- organizes sessions of group therapy;
- teach methods of dealing with stress;
- arrange meetings with people with co-dependency for exchange of experience;
- give advice on the attainment of inner harmony;
- will help to look at family issues in a new light.
Finally we recommend you to see the video, quite clearly painted the features of codependency, alcoholism and ways of getting rid of it. We hope our tips and additional resources (useful videos) to help cope with codependency you or your loved ones.