Possible friendship men and women
Is there a friendship between a man and a woman? A difficult question. Some believe that friendship between a man and a woman is a thing impossible. Others are convinced of the opposite.
Wrong in the dispute does not exist, each person has an individual definition of friendship. Some friends meet once a year, but are considered to be the closest people in the world. Other people communicate on a daily basis, having fun, sharing deep – but don't even consider themselves friends. In communication men and women are still difficult.
Let's try to define friendship, to understand when it occurs and to identify the nature of the relationship between men and women...
In psychology this is called friendship intimacy people build for a long time under the influence of certain factors. Key word – "psychological compatibility" is the consistency of interests, bilateral respect, a common communication format, bilateral support, the desire for exclusivity of the relationship.
- Interest: ongoing time should bring satisfaction to both parties. An important condition is that the joint contact points (the same Hobbies, memories, General topics of conversation interesting to both parties).
- Proximity: difficult to call friends those who don't know anything about each other. There is no friendship when one person knows about the other personal information, and the second does not bother to study the other person.
- Mutual respect: it is not necessary to fully support the actions and thoughts of another person, but to accept and respect them is a characteristic of friendship.
- The adoption of the equal form of communication: if one member constantly takes (support constantly asks for advice, has the opportunity to speak out, waiting for friend will come on the first call), but does not give it back – the friendship is doomed. Sooner or later the feeling: one party uses the other.
- Joint support: help in a difficult situation, not to turn away – if not, friendship can not exist.
- The desire for exclusivity. We can't be equally close to all people is a psychological feature of a person. A person can not hold graduation friends (does not distinguish between who has more trust with whom it is interesting)? So he has no friends. And to be a friend of such a person seriously – no one wants to be equated to the hundreds of other people.
It is customary to distinguish three types of relationships:
- Buddies initial stage, with a weak degree of attachment. Friendly relations includes the "nice side" of communication – fun and interesting pastimethe lack of serious commitment, positive attitude, lack of "straining". Affection is weak: can quickly arise and quickly disappear. The principle of "When there will be positive benefits (fun, interest), the communication will cease."
- A good friend – according to psychologists, if the friends become closer, they become good friends. Good friends do not claim an exceptional place in the life of each other, but in contrast to buddies, ready to have fun, and to assist in unfavorable conditions. The principle: "If there is no positive benefit, the friendship will continue for some time".
- Best friend – the person proven, life situations (there is a saying: "Other determines the ability to share your joy and divide grief"). People no longer require a permanent positive satisfaction from a joint fellowship (in the absence of fun communication remains the same). The principle: "If there is no positive benefit, the friendship still exists."
Communication between people of the opposite sex
We briefly dismantled the psychological aspects of the relationship. But back to the main theme – the friendship between a man and a woman is impossible or possible? Of course, the friendship of men and women exist – the above signs can characterize the relationship of people of different sexes. But there is one significant feature!
Friendship between a man and a woman will not be the same friendship between people of the same gender due to possible sexual desire. Only one difference, but it is a form of communication acquires nuances that do not exist when dealing same-sex friends.
Examine the different scenarios:
- Libido is missing.
Is there friendship between a man and a woman without sexual desire? Sexologists claim: relationship without attraction is possible, but a relationship without thinking about hypothetical sex does not exist. Even if a man and a woman do not make steps to have sex, it is still rare thoughts of possible intimacy arise. This is facilitated by physical proximity (touch, embrace), looseness of the relationship, the need to confirm their own attractiveness (if the opposite sex shows no interest, I always have thoughts of "what did I do wrong"). Adding fuel to the fire reaction of others – constant questions "are you a couple?", and the jealousy of sexual partners friends.
A separate analysis requires communication with a person homosexual. Here are the other rules, this communication is closer to same-sex friendship.
- Libido feels alone.
Features friendship match features typical of the love between couples. And if there is interest, trust, mutual aid, sooner or latersomeone there libido. If you experience a mutual sexual attraction friends become lovers. Sexual sympathy arising from one cause unrequited love:
- A man or a woman confesses to feelings, but denied causing awkwardness and resentment. It's bad for friendships (often after a Frank recognition of the friendship ends).
- Man or woman, when I'm afraid to ruin a friendship, hiding your feelings. Is it possible friendship between a man and a woman in this situation? Yes, but such relationships are vulnerable, existing on the suppression of emotions, constant control.
- Libido occurred/occurs in two of them.
- Some psychologists believe: best friends man and woman can become, when they last met, but amicably. Other psychologists believe that if the former couple has kept a good relationship, love affair has not ended – in 95 % of cases, the love affair resumes.
- Another scenario: a man and a woman are long-time friends, then find a mutual erotic attraction. They may sometimes have sex but not consider themselves a couple. Let's be honest: they are still lovers (with non-regular sexual contacts.
- A great option is former friends officially become a couple. Practice shows that such couples make harmonious, happy, strong family, because the couple have a lot in common.
To sum up. Is there a friendship between a man and a woman? The psychology is clear: friendship of men and women exists, but is different from the relationship of gay people. The main difference in potential or existing intimate relationships, often complicating the friendship.